Random.Org has selected a number:
Scrolling down now... and the winner is Ru! Congratulations! I will email you your $50 Amazon gift card shorty.
As for the rest of you, I know there was only one "winner", but come on now. Did you read how many funny comments there were? I couldn't stop laughing and that's just what I needed, so in my mind you're all winners.
Thank you everyone for participating!