Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Death by High Heels

For Oktoberfest contest rules, go here.

First 300 words of DEATH BY HIGH HEELS:

Cops hate it when you vomit all over their crime scene – a mistake I had no desire to repeat. Then again, the fact that I’d just trampled all over this scene was probably a whole new mistake I should have avoided. I stared at the corpse and fought the urge to hurl. If only I hadn’t answered the door, I’d be eating dinner instead of standing in my neighbor’s apartment looking at a dead guy.

I’ve seen plenty of weird things but this had to be one of the weirdest. The guy was just sitting there in the chair. Looking at him you would think he was asleep – if not for all the blood and his guts spilled onto his lap. I tore my eyes from him and asked my ditzy neighbor the question I most wanted the answer to.

“What the hell did you hit him with?”

Lindsay dropped the strand of blonde hair she’d been twirling and glanced down at floor. “My shoe.”

“Damn it, Lindsay, you can’t kill someone with a shoe!”

“Hello, they’re Via Spiga.”

“Ugh.” I rolled my eyes. There was no way in hell she had done this kind of damage with a shoe. If she had, women would soon be saying goodbye to their much-beloved accessory. Men-even NRA members- would insist on an instant ban of the deadly yet sexy weapon.

I set my hands on my hips. “Any idea how he got this giant hole in his stomach?”

“What? No, I hit him and ran.” Lindsay’s face paled and she leaned against the doorframe.

“Come here and see if you recognize him.”

“Gross, no way.”

“Get your ass over here!” I turned towards her and spotted Lakeview’s oldest beat cop standing behind her, his gun drawn.


ilima said...

This is a fantastic opening scene. I love it.

When she tells Lindsay, "you can't kill someone with a shoe!" I first thought she was scolding her for using an inappropriate weapon, as in she shouldn't kill someone with a shoe and should use something else, not that's it's impossible to kill someone with a shoe. (Maybe because I think killing someone with a shoe is not unreasonable).

Other than that confusion on my part I thought it was good.

Craig Smith said...

Interesting opening. Being grossed out by the murder scene I take it the MC is new to the business, I think it will be cool to see how she develops through the novel, by the title it looks like they're after a high heels serial killer...

Lorelei said...

Gak! I'd throw up too!

I'm just thinking that the first paragraph is the set up, then we are in scene with the MC and the neighbor. Something seems to bug me here. Not sure what it is. I read it through three times. However I like the idea of the shoe as possible murder weapon--or is it?